Redback Spider

There was a red-back on the toilet seat
When I was there last night, I didn't see him in the dark,
But boy! I felt his bite!
I jumped high up into the air, And when I hit the ground,
That crafty red-back spider Wasn't nowhere to be found.

Rushed in to the missus, Told her just where I'd been bit,
She grabbed the cut throat razor blade, And I nearly took a fit.
I said, "Just forget what's on your mind, And call a doctor please,
'Cause I've got a feeling that your cure Is worse than the disease."


I didn't see him in the dark, But boy! I felt his bite!
And now I'm here in hospital, A sad and sorry plight,
And I curse that red-back spider on the toilet seat last night.

I can't lay down, I can't sit up, And I don't know what to do,
And all the nurses think it's funny, But that's not my point of view.

I tell you it's embarrassing, (And that's to say the least)
That I'm to sick to eat a bite, While that spider had a feast!
And when I get back home again, I tell you what I'll do,
I'll make that red-back suffer For the pain I'm going through.
I've had so many needles That I'm looking like a sieve,
And I promise you that spider Hasn't got long to live!

From Slim Newton’s song
‘Red-back on the Toilet Seat’