Criticism & Contempt

"You would think that criticism would be the worst, because criticism is a global condemnation of a person's character. yet contempt is qualitatively different from criticism. With criticism i might say to my wife, 'You never listen, you are really selfish and insensitive.' Well, she's going to respond defensively to that . That's not very good for our problem solving and interaction. But if i speak from a superior plane, that's far more damaging, and contempt is any statement made from a higher level. A lot of the time it's an insult 'You're a bitch. You're scum.' It's trying to put that person on a lower plane than you. It's hierarchical." John Gottman

Contempt is closely related to disgust, and what disgust and contempt are about is completely rejecting and excluding someone from the community.

The Theory of Thin Slices
Blink- Malcom Gladwell
p.33